It's the second November, a very windy day at the eastside.
Me and my little sister Diana were on the way back home.
We were wandering through the street with our heads, directed to the ground. While we were wandering we heard many voices around us.
She tried to hold my hand as always... She was afraid of the people who stared at us from a pretty low distance.
Well, Diana and me were the great topic to speak about in our village. Specially 'cause of our father.
He was an alcoholic since the birth of my little sister, 'cause of that we've lost everything... Our mother, our possessions and our honor as well. We were helpless everytime, handed over like a package from the post...
Diana whispered in my ear: "Nico?... C-Could you sleep in my room today?"
I smiled a little pained and I just could nod.
A few minutes later we were already standing in front of our door.
I rang the bell and while that was Diana holding me suddenly very tight, she pushed her nails into my hips, I distorted my face 'cause of that pain.
We heard loud roaring and with one sentence was our father opening the door heavy and fast.
Father's look in his eyes was stroking our hearts like a blade, an oppressive mood shot through myself and Diana winced.
"Couldn't you use the backdoor you little brats?!", he asked us with an annoyed voice.
We both didn't know what we could answer him.
In the shortest time he grabbed us in the nape, pushed us with violence into the house and screamed at the neighbours: "What are you looking at?!".
We had luck, that the time was running out fast. When we sat at the table all together and ate our dinner, was Diana telling about her day filled with happiness. I didn't let any sound come out of my mouth...
Then she told about the plan that I'd be going to sleep in her room as well. Our father turned his view over to me and looked disgusted at me and he said: "Disgusting... also incest in our family! As if our family wouldn't be shitty enough already... NICO, YOU'RE SO SICK!".
After his words he drank a mouthful out of his Bourbon bottle.
He had let the bottle fallen down without any warnings before, like lightning the bottle broke into thousand pieces. The shards were sprayed all over the floor in every direction.
The alcohol was flowing around... Father stood up without any hesitance and screamed: "Clean that up, Diana!".
Her lips were shaking like she would try to say something, but no words were able to be heard.
She stood up fast, took a towel and went down on the ground into the sharp shards.
She started to clean the mess with a false smile.
The eyes of father were shining evil into Diana's direction and he kicked her directly into the shards.
Her nose started to bleed very fast, the crunching of the shards was pulling itself deeper 'n' deeper into her soft skin and when the alcohol reached her wounds she screamed out her pain.
Because of the fear I felt, I was feeling like a stone to the same time. The only things of mine which were moving, were my tears out of my stone like body.
I'm so sorry Diana...
Father went to the refrigerator, grabbed a new bottle and disappeared from the kitchen.
I watched my hands for a long time while I was doing nothing but then I got myself again, stood up and took Diana up.
She couldn't move she was just whimpering, like a little puppy.
I held her tight with one hand and with the other one I was stroking carefully over her bloody head.
She bit into my shoulder, what caused me to realize... that everything was my fault.
"Everything will be fine..." was the only thing I could comment now. With that sentence she decreased the power of her bite and stopped crying.
When we got it to her room I locked the door from inside and put her on her bed.
"I will pull the shards out of you... if you agree with it...". I said.
Diana held her arm tight and nodded.
A few minutes later when I had finished, she was smiling again already, as if nothing happened.
I unlocked the door again and changed my clothes.
After that I locked again, turned the light off and ran to my sister in the dark.
Diana layed in her bed already. "You can lay next to me as well!", she meant.
I hesitated a little, but she pulled me at my wrist onto the bed. I watched her, her face looked emotionless and then she asked me something which I will never forget.
"Do you wish sometimes that Papa should be dead?..."
My eyes widened in astonishment.
To be honest... I didn't expect something like that from my five years old sister... but somehow I answered with a "Yes...".
She went to sleep immediately after my answer.
I closed my eyes as well and began to dream.
It raged a fierce storm and it struck a continuous branch against the room of Diana.
I woke up calm and serene, but that changed abruptly when I noticed that she was no longer there.
Everything around me was gray, everything...
I stood up and walked a bit sleepy in the direction of the door.
In me there is a pressure built up when I tried to open the door, but nothing happened.
Swallowing, I thought it was all just a bad joke my little sister, but then... a giggle... It sounded bizarre and yet childlike.
Frightened, I pressed myself against the door and there stood... Diana.
"Diana! This is really not funny..." I said seriously.
She smirked and her eyes stared at me cold, then they have asked me again:
"Do you wish sometimes, that Papa should be dead?..."
"Do you wish sometimes, that Papa should be dead?..."
"Do you wish sometimes, that Papa should be dead?..."
Over and over she asked it, until I screamed, "ENOUGH!!!"
Her words echoed through the almost empty room and suddenly wide narrow eyes opened all over the room.
They were quite gray and stared at me... It kindled formally in my soul.
Again she began to giggle, but this time it grew into a loud laugh.
Then she asked: "Do you wish sometimes, that YOU should be dead?..."
W-what did she say for a nonsense?!...
I was a little angry when Diana asked me that. I wanted to go on it, but I remained standing on the spot.
I tried to open my mouth, but nothing...
My mouth felt like sewn on and... that was it?
Nervously, I looked in the direction of the small mirror hung in Diana's room.
My mouth was actually sewn... like a stone I fell at once to the ground and it broke up under my body.
Darkness surrounded me... and I landed with a loud splash in... the water?...
I grabbed some liquid, but it didn't taste of water... but by blood.
Disgusting! Thank God I was able to move again and I swam to the surface.
A small lamp flickered out of nowhere and I saw an endless sea of red blood.
Around me floating corpses... It was just awful.
I turned around and wanted to get away, but from clear sky dived my sister.
My eyes widened, while I stepped back a little.
Easy I extended my hand in front of her.
In a flash, she appeared with her head and grabbed my hand! Her eyes were turned inward and she spoke with eerie voice: "LeT uS SinG BroThEr!..."
Because of fright I fell out of the bed.
Diana stared at me confused and asked: "Are you okay?"
I snorted, "Yeah... What do you think?!"
With a smile, she moved around, and then she disappeared from her room.
My goodness... what a nightmare...
Completely sweaty I took off my T-shirt and dried my face.
I still layed on the floor, turned my head to the side and stared out the window where the sun shone through.
From the point of view I could see that her Pink kindergarten bag was open.
It was strange... because something was sticking out of the pocket.
I got up and opened the bag completely, though I pulled something out... a fluffy plush bunny?
Where did she get it?
It was a black and white bunny, which was apparently repaired several times, a beret adorned his head and one of his eyes was just a button, while the other looked like a doll, but shocked me a bit... a sound... this bunny had eyes like in my dream.
With a loud crash someone came running up the stairs and opened the door heavy and fast the door.
At first I thought it was my father, but Diana stood before me and cried: "N-Nico... Papa... he.. he doesn't wake up!"
Shocked, I ran around them with the rabbit in hand, I ran the corridors of our apartment along until I got into the bedroom of our Father.
He layed on his stomach and didn't move.
With much force I pushed him aside, while I fell back against fright and let fall the bunny.
Diana lifted her strange stuffed animal up, hugged it tightly and grinned psychopathic.
I looked away for a moment, because I wanted to inspect father closer.
From his ears, eyes, mouth and nose gushed blood... I got sick, because his mouth was wide open and maggots fell out.
It smelled like decay...
Under his shirt, his insides were pushing out themselves... a slippery noise sounded.
I held my hand in front of my mouth and closed my eyes.
Suddenly Diana was singing a song... It sounded very familiar to me, but I couldn't the name of the song one.
"We have to call the police..." I said.
Her joyous song stopped and her sadistic smile disappeared.
She shaked her head again and again... "But my brother wouldn't like that..." Diana said already so strange.
"But Diana!... Why shouldn't I like it?!" I asked her.
She giggled and said, "Silly... I wasn't meaning you..."
Was that her fucking serious?!
"Frère Jacques has fulfilled my desire... and yours too... be... happy..." she whispered softly.
I watched her confused and asked, "Who is this Frère Jacques and where is he?..."
"He is our brother... and he's right here... in this room," she replied without any feelings.
She pointed with her finger on the right show the stuffed animal and smiled again.
In me increased the rage and I screamed in shock: "Don't talk that crap!... This is a stuffed animal! Stuffed animals don't live! I... I can't believe how childish you are NOW!"
"...I will never sleep again!", said an unknown voice, just a few minutes later.
Suddenly I got dizzy and I fell to the ground again.
I felt like something was embracing me and my air was running out.
My eyes were closing slowly... and I lost my consciousness.
I don't know how many hours passed, but it seemed like I woke up in a hospital.
Except the bed was just a chair in that room. On the chair sat that plush bunny.
I stood up a bit shaky, went to it and threw it on the dirty ground, a dull sound sounded and like an echo asked that unknown voice: "Are you like your father?..."
"No!", I screamed weakened.
I turned around and he sat on the cold ground.
It was a human? No... He looked like that bunny but in humanly shape...
Maybe I was dreaming again... maybe... He held a lollipop directly in front of my nose, it looked very delicious rosered and sweet... but... a razor blade stuck in it...
He smiled hypocritical at me and asked: "Do you want that lollipop? I've got many more of them as well. Take it! Or don't you want?".
I hesitated long... but with much overcoming I took the sweet agony.
If I have got luck... I would survive it... I hoped it...
"C'mon sing with me..."
"Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques
Sonnez les matines,
Ding ding dong, ding ding dong......"